Rocks are heavy… the ocean is vast
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April 13, 2017
March 16, 2017
I am sinking. I am a rock that is submerging deeper and deeper into the ocean. All of my worries and all of my unjustifiable agitation builds up on top of me and causes me to sink faster. Schoolwork, SATs, searching for the perfect college, managing my social life, working, nannying, family – the list can continue. The list of all of the little things that impact my tiny, insignificant life, have the capability to bring me down; they have the ability to cause me to sink faster. The ocean that I am falling into goes on for miles and miles. From the shore, the view is beautiful and serene, but once you’re in it, it consumes you and forces you to fight. The uncontrollable waters force you to battle against the waves. I am only a small piece of this world compared to the entirety of all of the lands and the seas. The seas that so coincidentally provide the perfect analogy for me: a simple, sinking rock.
I am fortuitous enough to have a support system of my closest coworkers, friends, and family members. I am so thankful for those that help me stay afloat. They are the ones that want to keep me from hitting the ocean floor. I am thankful for my cousin because even as the busy, broke, college student that she is, she still spends the time and money to talk to me and sends me a surprise gift to help me feel better. I am gracious for my coworkers who listen to me and will give me a hug and won’t let go until they know I am ready. I can’t send enough gratitude to my parents; I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them. But even with this prodigious group of people that care about me, I am still searching in my own brain for some self-motivation to keep from hitting the bottom of the ocean.
I am a rock. I have solid protection inside and out. I, as a rock, have a lot of mass, which essentially means that I am built up to be strong and withstand damage. I, as a human, keep myself busy with admittedly sometimes made-up things to make it appear as if I am rock solid. I remind myself that instead of adventuring out, I have to make sure I read, write, clean, or eat before I can explore.
The ocean of life is full of new opportunities for one to fulfill themselves with. I want to swim throughout the ocean, and I want to see as much as I can. I aspire to discover things that are new to me. I desire to meet the other fish in the sea, I aim to experience the views of the underwater plants and reefs, and I want to feel free. But unfortunately, for the time being, I am just a simple rock, sinking to the ocean floor. I am still young, and I still have so much to see; yet, I let these things build up and up until they become too much for me and I just let myself sink.