Over break, I cleaned my entire room. It was probably the messiest that it’s ever been, and I really wanted to redo it. Since then, I’ve bought new bedding, a new mirror, a new nightstand, and a new desk chair.
My bed looks much more orderly now. Instead of purple sheets, green blankets, and a yellow pillow case, it’s white sheets, nicer, newer, but still green blankets, and white pillow cases. It looks more organized, but when I wake up every morning, I don’t set it. I leave my pillows flattened, and I leave my blanket crumpled up. I’m neater, but not neat.
I’m not phenomenal at school. I have A’s and A-’s in four of my classes, but I really struggle with science and math. Those grades are worse than the rest. I’m not always focused in class. Sometimes I talk to people around me, zone out, or work on homework for other classes. I’m not a great student, but I’m not a bad one either.
I don’t think I’m 100% at anything, but I’m not 0% at anything either. I’m neat, but not that neat. I’m quiet, but not that quiet. I’m a good student, but I’m not that good. I wish I were. I wish I were neat, I wish I were quiet, I wish I were a good student. I wish I weren’t just in between.
Sometimes I prefer to wear sweatpants or a hoodie, but sometimes I like to wear dresses or jeans. I wish I were more put together all of the time.
These are some of my flaws: I’m not a great student, I’m not the neatest person, and I’m not the quietest person. If I were, that wouldn’t be me.
I need to learn that it’s okay if I’m just in between.
It’s okay if I’m not the quietest person. I really like to laugh and talk with my friends. I like to walk with my friends between classes. I also like to listen. Sometimes, my friends do the talking for me, and that’s okay, too. When I’m not in the mood to talk, they can. They tell me stories, and they make me laugh. Sometimes I talk a lot, but sometimes I just want to listen.
I like being able to listen to my friends instead of always having to do the talking. I also like being able to talk to my friends instead of always having to listen. Maybe it’s okay that I’m in between.
I know that I’m not a fantastic student, and I know that I’m not the most organized person in the world. I also know that I really like to hang out with my friends, and I know that I make people laugh. Maybe that makes up for it.
I may be in between in almost everything. And I think that’s okay, because that’s just who I am. I am just an okay student, I am somewhat organized, and it’s okay. I understand that I’m just in between, and I’m starting to come to terms with that.
