It’s official. As of writing this, there’s only one more day until the seniors leave.
I know it’s inevitable; there’s no way to stop this.
The halls will be emptier, some of my classes will be emptier, and the lunchroom will be emptier. Maybe not everyone will notice, but I know I will.
I will notice when nobody is by my side at the numerous different sporting events. Alex won’t be by my side, about to explode with stress, while I’m taking photos at basketball games, and she won’t be next to me at soccer games, worried that someone’s hurt. She won’t be there walking back and forth with me at football games, even though her leg is in pain. She didn’t care about the pain because she just wanted to be there with me. I’ll no longer have the constant complaining, laughter, or stress at games. I’ll be sitting there by myself.
I’ll notice that she’s gone during theater. I’ll no longer have someone silently panicking next to me. There will be no more Starbucks or food runs with her. I won’t be able to get rides from her anymore, and I won’t get to spend hours just sitting around at rehearsals with her while waiting for something to do. Next year, Audrey and I will have to figure out how to do it all without her. I know it’ll be okay, but I also know it’ll be different. I know that I’ll notice.
I’ll notice when Rowan isn’t there in sixth hour anymore. I’ve had a class with her since the first day of my freshman year, and now, she’ll be gone. I won’t get to watch her play her guitar, and when she doesn’t have her guitar, I won’t get to see her silently “air-play” along to songs. We won’t get to cry from laughing together anymore. Once she leaves, I’m unsure when I’ll get to see her next. All that I can do is hope that it’s soon. I can’t believe these two years with her are already over. I’ll miss you, Rowan. I’ll notice.
I won’t pass the seniors that I only see in the hallway anymore. There won’t be any more quick smiles or high-fives. That’ll be it. Even if they don’t realize it, I’ll miss them more than they know.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do without them in my classes or at school events. Even though there might only be a few people missing, I know that I’m going to notice the gaps. I’m going to notice that they’re gone.
I’m going to have to figure out how to be okay without them. It’ll be emptier, but I know that I’ll get used to it.
I’ll get used to theater and taking photos without Alex, even though that’s the only way that I’ve known it. I’ll get used to driving myself around instead of needing her to drive me everywhere. I’ll get used to TCT without Rowan, even though I haven’t known it any other way.
I’ll get used to a slightly emptier sixth hour, and I’ll get used to being just a little more lonely in the hallways. I’ll get used to it, but it’ll always be just a little emptier.
