The fear of missing out.

A very common fear. Popularly known as FOMO. People are afraid if they don’t know everything that is going on, they might explode.

I fear something else.

Many people can’t wait to get out of their hometown. It is too small. It is so boring. It doesn’t have anything to offer me.

Most will miss their home, but they will still proceed without giving it a second thought.

Some may be afraid of the awaiting unknown, but it turns into excitement.

I, on the other hand, fear something else.

I fear change.

I fear losing everything I have.

I fear losing my friends.

I fear forgetting my childhood.

I fear moving away.

I have never moved. Not even to a different house in the same city. I have lived in my house for almost sixteen years.

Some might say this is fear of the unknown, but I know otherwise. I have been into the unknown multiple times. I have been away from my city for weeks at a time. But I always knew I would be back.

Only when I thought about moving away to these cities did I start to shut down.

My mind froze.

My heart turned to stone. It was a thousand pounds. My heart was trying to tell me not to move. It was telling me to stay right where I was. It felt like there was a magnetic force driving me down. I couldn’t move if I wanted to.

Sometimes, people will have to move away from you, and you are going to have to live with it. People grow up, friends move away, pets move on.

But I am not ready to leave yet.

Some people might think this is FOMO, but FOMO would be running into the world and hoping it catches you—running into the unknown because you can’t miss out on anything. Running away from your home.

FOMO is needing to know everything about everyone.

FOMA is not. FOMA is not wanting to leave the only world you’ve ever known. FOMA is being magnetically pulled to your house.

I don’t have FOMO. I have FOMA.