Growing up, I was extremely shy. I couldn’t look people in the eyes, let alone speak to people that weren’t my parents. I went to therapy when I was very little, and it helped me a lot; after many years of talking through my feelings and medication, I finally found myself.

I found my personality.

I haven’t taken medication since I was in fourth grade. Now, I’m really outgoing and open with people that I don’t know. I don’t try to get out of presenting to my class. I now stick up for what I believe in regardless if others agree or not. 

I’ve come a really long way. Throughout all this change, from my shielded childhood to my open and wild present, one thing has stayed constant: lemons.

I always liked lemons growing up. I’ve heard stories about how, when I was very little, I was given a lemon, and I was expected to pucker and give in to the sourness. But I loved them. Even now, I will ask for a lemon to eat when we go to the grocery store. 

It sounds really weird that I love something so sour, but to me, the taste isn’t bitter. It reminds me of my childhood and overall change. I changed so much from my anxious five-year-old self to now: my energetic fifteen-year-old self. 

I used to be closed off from everyone; everything made me scared. I was a caterpillar too scared to leave my cocoon.

But now I’m funny and open with a little bit of a sour after taste, only if you get on my bad side, just like a lemon.

So when people eat lemons and pucker, I eat lemons and smile. Growing up, eating one specific food that others couldn’t stand always made me feel special, even stronger in a weird way.

I’ve grown up and out of my scared, scarred, and shielded self. I’m now overpowering with my change; I’m just like the fruit that I’ve always loved. I’ve become who I’ve always wanted—needed—to be.

If I’m like a lemon, then I’ve become exactly what I’ve always wanted to. I changed for the better. 

Lemons remind me how I used to be—how I used to be so scared and helpless. But they now also represent the change to become outgoing and strong, who I wanted and needed to be. 

Lemons are overpowering with their taste; the multiple layers show the growth from a vulnerable seed to a strong-tasting fruit. 

I was overtaken by fear; it controlled my life. I was like a seed, and now I’ve changed so much that I’m not the same. I’m strong and independent; I am like the full-grown lemon.

From being a scared little girl to an independent fifteen-year-old, I’ll say that I’ve changed a lot, and I’ll change so much more in the next three years of high school. I invite that change; I’ve become who I need to be, but I’m still changing.  I haven’t settled yet. 

I’ll still like lemons, and I won’t forget the things that make me stronger today.

Take a bite of a lemon and pucker at the sourness. I mean, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’m living proof of that.