We can never be together. I have known this from the beginning, yet I cannot seem to fathom it.
I long for one moment with you, whether it be a lifetime or a few seconds. I long to see you erupt with happiness—showers of gold—or to see anger engulf you. Just once. Something to show me that the longing is worth it.
It pains me knowing that we will never dance together as the heavens pour water down on the earth. It pains me knowing that we will never bound through empty corridors in the dead of night. It pains me to know that we will never bask in the sunshine together as you weave a crown of flowers. It pains me to know that we will never sit by a fire as snow sinks to the ground outside. It pains me to know that I will never feel your hand in mine.
Struggles throughout life bring me back to your open hand. You have come to the rescue more times than I care to admit—although it is technically not your decision when I need you. You are the remedy for any heartache… even though you may possibly be the cause of much of one.
I envy those who find themselves between your arms, feeling that it should be me there instead. My tiny glass heart fractures a little more each moment we are apart.
Attempts to capture you are as foolish as catching a cloud in a butterfly net. You seem to be solid until I try to embrace you. Suddenly a wisp of smoke, you escape from my grasp yet again.
My knight in shining armor, without knowing what dragon you are slaying, you are ready to defend the girl who lives in a different universe.
I dedicate my spare time to you, attempting to lose myself in you even though you are trapped behind pages.
I try to bring you to new places so you can experience as much of my world as I do yours, even though I usually decide to visit you instead.
There is so much that you will never know. Especially about how you affect those who know you. For some, they are filled with hatred, and others—myself included—adore you. While some ridicule you for mistakes you have made, others commend you for them; mistakes are what prove you are human.
I do, however, accuse you of one thing: setting my expectations so high. I fear that I will never find love as powerful as what you possess. I fear that I may never find a man as heartfelt as you. I fear that I may never fear losing a man as much as I fear losing you.
I thank you for being at my side on my most difficult days. I thank you for filling days that would otherwise be accompanied by boredom. I thank you for consuming my consciousness in times of struggle. I thank you for keeping me company on sleepless nights. I thank you for all that you have done for me, even though you don’t know yourself.