I don’t care if I’m invisible


Ben Ruffer

During one of the last football games of the season Ellie and I freeze together.

Ever since I learned how to use contacts and grew out my hair, I thought I wouldn’t be invisible anymore. 

Before seventh grade and my “glow-up,” no one other than a handful of friends seemed to realize I was even alive. 

Once I changed my appearance, I thought that everyone would know who I am; sadly, I was mistaken. Throughout high school, I’ve been making and losing friends on a regular basis. But, I’ve been able to meet a couple of people who have been by my side for years, and they care about me no matter what.

They have seen me at my best and my worst; no matter what, they’re always there to pick me up when I’m down. They come to me with any concerns they ever have with their lives, and I go to them for advice whenever I truly need help.

They’re the only reason I have been able to survive high school; I’m lucky enough to have great friends who are always there for me. It doesn’t matter what drama is going on within our petite friend group–we always stick together. 

I’ve been lucky enough to make long-lasting friendships, which I hope won’t fade away after we all split apart due to the inevitable fate of college.

Always looking out for me, letting me vent about pretty much anything she has proven to be one of the most important people in my life.”

I have been in a handful of friend groups, but they always seem to drift apart in a few months. We all lose contact and never speak to each other again unless forced to in class. 

The months, weeks, days of not talking can ruin a friendship. Thankfully, that isn’t the case for my current friends; we’ve proven to each other that we can overcome any obstacle that comes our way, including not talking for months on end. 

Recently we have reconnected, and I was fully expecting to be like complete strangers to one another. That wasn’t the case at all; our first conversation after our break it was like we never stopped talking. Sitting in her driveway, talking the day away until it was almost dark, made me realize that no length of time can drive a wedge between her and I.

The time we spent together allowed us to relive all our favorite memories we’ve made together throughout the years; without her, I wouldn’t have been able to make some of the stupid and yet incredible memories that I will cherish and look back on for years to come. Thanks to her, I can proudly say that I’ve enjoyed high school and I hope I will always have that mindset looking back fondly on the time we spent together.

I confessed to her that I see her as a sister. I was petrified that she wouldn’t reciprocate the feeling. Thankfully, she said she feels the exact same way; this only made our friendship stronger.

She has proven countless times that she cares about me. She always looks out for me–she lets me vent about pretty much anything, and she has proven to be one of the most important people in my life.

I may be invisible to everyone else, but I don’t care; I’m just lucky enough to have found a couple of people who I can consider my best friends. Others may look past me, but my closest friends will never see me as invisible.