The little things we will do in order to entertain our minds. Distracting myself from the impending days ahead, hiding what’s to come from the innocent little girl that sits in the center of my psyche, repeatedly telling her it will be okay.
I have never been grounded. Even as a kid, I hardly ever got sent to my room—that I remember at least. Because of this, my room has always been my sanctuary. With its customizable walls, satin pillows, and much loved carpet that is stained with everything from makeup to paint, I adore my bedroom.
But for those ten painfully slow days it was not a bedroom, but rather a jail. Its calming light grey walls did little when it came to easing the chaotic thoughts within me. With nowhere to go, but five feet in each direction, I was lost in the place I hold so dear to my heart.
However, you can only wallow in your self pity for so long before you realize reality sucks until you do something to make it slightly better. Luckily for me, I have amazing people who care about me just enough, or maybe a little more, to check up on me daily.
Upon reflection these are the things I have learned from those ten days of unforgiving solitude.
As long as you like your own company, you can never truly be lonely. This is something I am not entirely sure I have achieved, but for the most part, hanging around myself and only myself was not so bad.
Eventually the clouds will clear and another day will come. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. Eventually, I was able to step out of my pink and cream jail cell and back into the real world where the friends and family that checked up on me daily were waiting for me, ready to embrace me as if no time had passed at all.
It’s okay to do weird little projects even if you’re not in some state of lockdown. In my time alone I binge watched shows, painted, organized, and reorganized the same space a hundred times, and made it a little better with each change. These are things I would love to continue doing.
That leads me into my last point, the final lesson my dreadfully painful quarantine taught me: life always has been, and hopefully forever will be, about making tomorrow just a little bit better than today. Make the little girl who you once were proud by making her future bright.