The best relationship advice is given by those who see it from an outside perspective
“How do you give the best advice when you have never been in a relationship?”
This question has popped up in conversations with my friends many times before. It always seems that the individuals most knowledgeable about relationships are the people who have never actually been in one.
When my friends start to rant about who they are dating, I just say what I think would be the most logical solution, but when someone is so blinded by love at a young age, it isn’t as clear as it might seem.
Single people tend to have more of a logical sense of thinking, when it comes to someone else’s relationship, due to the fact that they are not emotionally invested. When someone is driven by their emotions, they tend to see things through rose-colored glasses, especially at a young age. Along with the emotional state of teenagers, they are also not fully developed and trying to differentiate how their heart feels versus their head can be very complex.
When someone isolates themselves in a relationship, they tend not to be able to see the flaws they present to others. And when they run into an issue and ask for advice, it may be more difficult for them to take the advice given to them.
As someone who has stayed single throughout their high school years, I tend to jump to the most seemingly obvious solution, when asked for relationship advice, though it is not so clear to the person involved in the relationship. This leads to the internal debate of why that is, and why they don’t seem to realize how simple these solutions seem to an outsider. Single friends are able to see the relationship from a distanced point-of-view and offer the insight they get from what they see and the information they are told, giving them the opportunity to formulate an opinion based on their observations.
While single people tend to give more logical advice, they also seem to suggest more rash decisions. They jump to conclusions first rather than addressing the issue at hand while also helping to salvage the relationship. From observing the relationships around them, they seem to know exactly what they want, and when a friend comes to them with a minor issue, it may seem like a deal breaker.
Although they’re just trying to help, when you’re single and get asked for advice, it’s hard to understand that they may need some support or comfort while they’re going through this hard time, not always a strict solution. I’ve found that when I am more logical with my advice, it could push the person away because, at that moment, the friend feels their relationship is the priority. Offering some comfort or simply telling them to sleep on the issue will better affect their mental health, and if the issue is serious, the best way to approach it is by providing them with a safe space where they are able to be open.
Not all advice that single people give is necessarily the best but is, most definitely, the most logical. Getting an outside perspective on relationship issues is important to ensure the problems occurring aren’t abnormal. Taking advice from someone who sees the relationship as an observer is most likely the best bet, as they will tell you their raw advice.