Taking a journey through my thoughts


Molly Colpean

Taking a walk down to the gas station in Cascade

I noticed that my mind was racing, as I walked to an unidentified location. It never stays on one subject, bouncing around from subject to subject. I came up with some strange beliefs that most people would find odd.

I left my house, my eyes fixated on the floor, letting my feet drag along the ground. Then I saw the brittle, crisp, brown leaves on the cold cement ground. As if I were a little kid again, I jumped from leaf to leaf. I loved the sound of the leaves crunching beneath me. 

My initial thought came to me. Why do we have money? Why is there money, if we all need the resources we buy with money so we can survive? Money is just a concept of wealth. The only reason that money has meaning is that we made it have one. What if we all pretended that money had no worth?

Here come the cracks. The cracks on the sidewalk forced me to have an urge, the urge to take the same amount of steps in each square. Focusing on the distance between them, not paying attention to the rest of the world, it went quiet. I could no longer hear the cars racing past one another and instead I’m stuck with my brain. 

The heat grows and I feel safe, not with anyone, but alone and safe.”

My mind drifted to the next reflection on life. Who decided time and why do we have it? Why would someone choose to have 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day? When was time itself created? All clocks in the same timezone are synced together, but why doesn’t the world run at the same time everywhere?

As I stare off into the distance, there’s a warmth in my chest. The heat grows and I feel safe, not with anyone, but alone and safe. I no longer have to worry about those around me and can finally breathe. 

Pain. Pain in my head. Pain from the thoughts that are too overwhelming, they won’t stop though. I began to see images pop in, and I could see myself. I finally took in air, my lungs felt like they were collapsing and nothing could be done to fix it. 

A third thought. How can the world be in debt? This makes no sense whatsoever. When ours and other governments spend money, they buy materials that help our economies. But how can we be in debt to the world? There is no one person that owns the entire world. So, how could we be in debt?

The thoughts present themselves in my oblivious mind with no warning insight. I have a love-hate relationship with my thoughts. They are a blessing and a curse all at once.