I honestly thought this year was going to be so much harder. I have heard countless times that junior year is the hardest year of high school; it was hard, but I made it through, and it felt the same as the last two years. Well, I guess freshman year doesn’t really count due to COVID-19. 

Now the year is coming to a close, and I have to face senior year and graduating. I simply cannot picture my life outside of the building I have been held captive in for the last three years. I have claimed to hate every second spent in this building, but there have been days I truly enjoyed walking the halls or sitting in a certain class. 

I am definitely going to miss my Advanced Psychology class, the only class since freshman year I have had with one of my best friends. And while I will not miss the actual class, I will miss the friends I made in my third hour. I will miss second lunch with my two best friends and two new friends I hope to keep. I won’t miss waking up at 6 a.m. every morning, and I won’t miss math class, but I will miss seeing everyone that has become part of my routine and who brightens my day. 

Still, I am ready for summer. I can drive this summer, so I will experience a new freedom I have not yet faced. I plan to go on as many beach trips as possible and fill my days with seeing the people I will miss from school. I simply can’t wait to burst from the restraints of school. 

But a part of me is terrified—once this year ends, I will truly become a senior. I will be forced to experience all the lasts: my last football game, my last homecoming, my last first day of school, and my last last day of school.  

Maybe I should be filled with more excitement. I will be at the top of the school, I will be able to experience senior skip days and other senior-exclusive events. Then after graduation, I will move on to a new part of life. I will finally be done with high school and will get to find out who I am in a new environment. I will be able to meet new people and go to new places. This all fills me with terror, but I am trying to switch the narrative in my head to a positive one; I am trying to see all the news as thrilling. 

Even though my feelings about the upcoming school year are conflicting, I am ready to say goodbye to junior year and say hello to summer—I can worry about senior year in August.