To Life,
My eyes watch as its hands move in circles. With each gesture, it hopes—dreams, really—of reaching an ending, a happily ever after, that I know I will probably never see. With each movement—each moment—it clicks. Its motions have since become mechanical and somewhat redundant, and yet, still, it has caught my attention as if it were a show I had once loved before.
Even though, in my head, I know it to be true that its movements have done anything but slow, I can’t help but feel as though it has. That, in my watching, I had somehow made it nervous and it has since slowed down.
I know that it is only in the moments in which I look away—the ones where I forget about those clicking noises and those slowed movements—that it truly feels as if time were moving properly; fast, even.
I know that is what I should do, distract my restless eyes so that time may finally catch up, but I can do anything but that, for it is in my watching that I am counting down.
I am counting down the hours.
I am counting down the minutes.
I am counting down the seconds.
I am counting down all the moments until our worlds collide together; until the moment my world can be at peace.
I wait because when I am with you, any and all other distractions seem to drift into the distant background. All the minute nothings that lay their weight on my thoughts seep into the cracks, dissolving into a quiet absence and leaving the world just you and me.
And though it may seem as though time has lessened its pace, I will never lessen my haste to be along by your side.
For it is with you that I find myself light and at ease: through your stories, through your music, through your silence, through you. And so, it is with you that I wish nothing more than to spend my time with.
There are no complexities in that moment, just a simple glow of happiness.
And I can’t help but anticipate it and all that it entails: the relief, the happiness, everything.
So, until that moment comes, I will continue to watch as those hands move round and round, never to stray or tire, just as I never will for you.
I will continue to watch those mechanical movements and listen for those momentary clicks because I know that each one gets me closer to you.
And though it may seem as though time has lessened its pace, I will never lessen my haste to be along by your side.
And so, I will count down the hours.
I will count down the minutes.
I will count down the seconds.
I will count down the moments until I am with you—together.
Love always,
Alysse
