I am an artist.

I make mistakes, and that’s okay.

I make art, and within that art, is an infinite amount of mistakes. Art is full of mistakes, but to viewers, they may not be seen as mistakes.

While creating art, I have struggled to create an entire piece without stopping halfway through to tell myself I hate it. Before I can even finish my artwork, I’m picking it apart because something is not proportional or is in the wrong spot; perhaps I just don’t like the way it looks.

Trust the process.

These three words are enraging; how can I trust the process when right now, my art doesn’t look like how I imagined it, and how do I continue creating something I hate just because I need to trust the process?

Am I an artist?

I mean, I can’t even get this one thing right, and now the piece looks ugly, and I should just break it. It’s ugly anyway, but it’s a waste of art supplies. 

I make mistakes.

But, my art needs to be perfect, and it needs to be good. My art needs to be outstanding and mindblowing. I need my art to be unique. I can’t let myself make mistakes. It needs to be perfect because, after all, I’m an artist. Artists are supposed to create beautiful, perfect things, artworks people will pay hundreds of dollars for.

I’m a girl.

And it’s not okay to make mistakes.

I need to be perfect. I need to have a beautiful, curvy body. I’m meant to be short, dainty, small, and not have a temper. I can’t slip up and be angry. I can’t stand my ground otherwise I’m “too stubborn,” and I can’t be immature, loud, or silly. I need to be quiet, nice, and welcoming. I can’t look too angry, or no one will talk to me. I can’t be insecure and vocal about it, or I’m fishing for compliments.

I make mistakes.

I make mistakes and face consequences. Maybe I’m too mean, or I say something I shouldn’t have. Suddenly, I’m hated by everyone. My reputation starts going down the drain once I start caring more about myself than what others think. People look at me differently when I stop trying to please everyone around me. I lose friends when I can’t keep my head above water, and everyone starts to watch me drown. 

Art is different; it’s more forgiving and there for me always. Art helps me express my feelings and is sure to never leave. Art made me come to terms with the fact that I will always make mistakes, and it made me realize I shouldn’t care what others think. I should create MY art.

I am an artist. 

I make mistakes, and I’m okay with that.