At times, people defend feminism by telling those who oppose it that it benefits both men and women and that it’s just about equal rights. It appeases everyone.
This undermines the idea of feminism by appeasing men. Feminism is for women, by women—men don’t need to benefit from feminism in order for it to be valid. In fact, men shouldn’t benefit from feminism directly because the entire point is that it is for women to have a boost in society after being held back for so long. It is for women to feel safer. It is for women to feel like their voices are being heard and respected—not as a man’s voice, but as a woman’s.
The approval of men should not be necessary for feminism to have a space and help women unite in their quest for a better place in society.
Men do have a place in feminism; their support of women in their lives helps the cause by backing it regardless of gender. However, men shouldn’t be celebrated just for being feminists—it’s the bare minimum.
Something I find frequently, particularly from members of Gen Z on social media, is the men who think that they are worthy of having a girlfriend just because they are “feminists.” Romantically, there is no “deserving” of a partner. Nobody is at fault for one’s romantic status.
Yet, there are certain individuals who believe that they have the “female gaze” because of their proper style and basic respect. Although this is the bare minimum in my opinion, women seem to flock to the comments and boost the ego of these men. This in itself isn’t an issue, but the idea that these men are “heroes” in some right is excessive and ridiculous. Feminism shouldn’t be a respectable trait in a man, but rather, one that should be integral to being a good person and having a healthy relationship with a woman in any respect.
Men should certainly be involved in feminism, but many seem to forget that the point isn’t to support women so they can get female attention. The entire upside of men backing feminism is that they can take the moment to recognize that feminism isn’t about men, but about women, and their involvement should not step beyond getting women’s voices heard and listening to what their concerns are.
Feminism is in no way about disregarding or hating men, but, simply put, it wasn’t created for men, and that is not the primary focus—in feminism, women always come first because they don’t come first often enough in a patriarchal society.
Any support is welcome, but only if it is truly out of wanting to help women get their voices heard. Self-motivated men who hope to reap the benefits of a movement for women through getting “social points” are making a protest that boosts women about themselves, therefore being hypocritical.
Feminism will always be for women, by women, and men don’t need a say or to be benefitted in order for that to be valid.
