Pinterest

A photo I found on Pinterest of somebody’s birthday setup.

Oct. 20:

Two hours until my birthday.

I’m not really looking forward to it. I spent this entire day close to tears, and it’s taking all of my energy to hold them back. Only two hours and twelve minutes until my birthday and I’m sitting on my bed, alone, writing this story. I’m sure if I asked somebody to hang out today, I wouldn’t be sitting alone right now. I just don’t feel like hanging out with anybody. Instead, I’m sitting here, letting my thoughts consume me.

There’s now one hour and thirty-two minutes left until it’s my birthday. I’m still on my bed listening to music. I don’t really like my birthday very much. When I was younger, I spent so much time looking forward to being a year older. Now, I wish I could be younger. I wish I could still be running around on the playground during school. I wish I didn’t have to worry.

One hour and fifteen minutes. While part of me wishes I was younger, part of me wishes I was older. I wish I could drive. I wish I could do the things that the seniors get to do. I need to learn to live in the moment. I need to learn that I don’t need to be older than I already am.

One hour left. My name is Addie. I’m fourteen years old, but only for another hour. I’m a sophomore in high school, and some of my favorite music artists are Taylor Swift, Noah Kahan, and Conan Gray. I really love music, and I’m learning how to play the guitar. I always get really dedicated and learn a song, but then forget that I have a guitar until I remember again a month later. I love to write, and I love taking pictures. I just got a new camera. I only partly know what I want to be, and I have no idea where I want to go to college. Everyone says I have time until I need to make that decision, but the days seem to be going by pretty quickly. I feel like I’ve changed a lot this past year, so I wonder what I’ll be like next year. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. I’m kind of proud of who I became this year.

Fifty minutes until I’m fifteen. I’m not sure why I’m staying up until midnight. All I’m doing is anxiously looking at the clock, waiting for midnight so I can go to bed. I guess I just feel obligated to stay up until my birthday.

There’s only thirty minutes left until I’m fifteen. For the past few hours, I’ve been listening to sad music, counting down until my birthday. I don’t know why I’m counting down because it’s not like it’s a big milestone. It’s just a birthday. 

There’s now twenty minutes until I’m fifteen. Now, I’m just trying to think of something to say. This past year was a hard year for me, but it was still one of the best years of my life. I know I’m not supposed to say what it is, but my birthday wish is that this year is going to be a good year, and I get decent grades in school.

Only one minute until I’m fifteen.

Oct. 21:

Happy fifteenth.