It is with great sadness that I discovered my One Direction toothbrush had to be put to rest after its many years of utilization.
A nightly staple that once serenaded me with “What Makes You Beautiful” until my dental regime had finished, the X-Factor-derivative boy band was the tune to the end of my day from the ages of four to six. While, in the present, brushing my teeth is something I look forward to just as much as I look forward to doing my APUSH homework, a younger me once patiently awaited the eve when I would be blessed by Harry, Liam, Louis, Niall, and Zayn crooning their generic pop songs to send me off the sleep.
At that age, I had not yet been introduced to the devout fan base that stood behind the five teenage boys. Prohibited by the comprehension of my childhood mind, I had not grasped the weight the band played on pop culture at the time.
My first introduction to a wider scheme of the “Directioner” audience came about with the tragic death of band member Liam Payne on Oct. 16, an unexpected shock wave for his family.
Considering the seriousness of the situation, I entered my Instagram expecting to see condolences sent to his grieving family. That, unfortunately, was predominantly not the case.
I instead came across teenage girls infantilizing the middle-aged man, their intention of consolidation coming across as disturbingly maternal in a way. On other Instagram stories, people around my age pounded out essay-style biographies on the character of the singer, claiming he was “just a boy” and implementing a sense of desolation that would have been likely to come from a close family member rather than a 14-year-old stranger. Some even took time off of school or work to mourn his death, lamenting his memory with a tender reverence that seemed eerily out of touch, considering none of them had any real connection to the pop star.
This level of attachment, which has become increasingly more pervasive as celebrity culture has become more and more of an obsession for many over the years, is, without a doubt, unhealthy. As seen in this situation, the intensely hyperbolated grief of many fans blatantly minimizes the experience of Payne’s family and friends, who not only have to cope with the death of a loved one but also a mob of fans whom they do not know trying to empathize with a situation they are truly not connected to. Payne, at the end of the day, was a son, a father, a brother, and a partner, identities that should not be put in comparison to also being a celebrity crush.
On a larger scale, this is not to minimize the love that many have for their celebrity of choice. But for those wanting to voice their compassion, adoration, and sometimes sympathy for their idol, rather than turning their homage into a testament for their own obsession—or, in Payne’s case, sorrow—one must remember the hard truth: to celebrities, a fan is one of many. Regardless of how much one-sided love one may have, it’s truly just the means to make a living for the person they so ardently worship.
These fan relationships are extremely common and are exhibited through many household names nowadays. Fans intertwine their personal well-being with the lives of celebrities who, in reality, have no idea they exist. Such intense involvement can lead to a warped sense of reality, where people blur the lines between admiration and hyper-fixated obsession to the point where their entire personality is built on a human being they live vicariously through despite having never met. The result of such fantasization is a dangerous personal investment in someone else that can rival even familial relationships.
Parasocial relationships have, not surprisingly, been a result of the grasp social media holds on society. Dark corners of the internet depict fan edits on TikTok that turn a real persons experience into something to merely look at (i.e. The Menendez Brothers), fan fiction distorts reality into a form of maladaptive daydreaming, and quick access to every detail on said celebrity’s life remains the perfect rabbit hole to suck the identity out of people. Such intense relationships can be found in other communities as well as sports fans, video game enthusiasts, influencer fans, and fans of a particular book, movie, or show.
All that being said, it is important to remember that being a fan does not mean devoting one’s entire life and vitality to that of a celebrity. Enjoying a celebrities work, finding joy in what they create, and finding a deeper sense of happiness in oneself are aspects that a true fan embodies; not sitting on Reddit for hours practically stalking a person that, no matter how many fun facts one can ramble about them, they do not actually know. Regardless of how one feels about someone they see in the media, they should never inflate their connection with them to something bigger then it truly is.
