It started with purple walls and stuffed animals in every corner. Two girls in one bathroom covered in turquoise walls. A room with horses posted up on every wall and a bed with pink and purple sheets. Blankets only consisted of animals and cartoon characters. This was my childhood. My room was my childhood. Every part of it represented a piece of who I was and who I wanted to be.
I didn’t realize it then, but everything was going to change. Those walls were going to become a different color, there were not going to be any more horses, and the stuffed animals would eventually be stuffed in my closet. The music would go from the My Little Pony theme song to songs by The Weeknd and SZA. The clothes in my dresser would go from galaxy leggings to boring black ones. Shirts would go from unicorn prints to plain solid colors.
The worst part of it all might have been losing the one thing that stayed constant throughout it all. My sister. I lost her to the horrible, yet life-changing, experience of college. I miss her now more than ever since she went to study abroad in Barcelona about three months ago. Now, nothing is constant, and I have no one thing to depend on. It used to be the duck blankie I got at birth, but I lost that. It used to be my unicorn-shaped pillow, but I gave that away. It used to be my bed, but eventually, I had to get a bigger one because the twin bed got too small. Every constant replaces the next, and that shows where I am in life at that moment.
My room used to be filled with Barbies all over the place. I had a big dreamhouse; I had so many different Barbies and Kens. It was my addiction when I was younger. I never stopped playing with my toys. Now, instead of toys on the ground, it’s homework. It’s dirty clothes, it’s towels, it’s trash. It seems like I can’t keep my room clean for more than three days at this point, but when I was younger, I never even needed to make an effort to clean my room. Instead of piles of fun all around me, I have created piles of endless stress.
While some of the changes my room goes through may seem sad, it is not always like that. The change can also represent improvements and maturity. My room shows how old I am and what I feel. The walls turning from purple to grey was a huge step in my life. By doing that, I had changed the entire vibe of my room. It said that I am going from a little girl who only knows happiness and fun to a more mature girl who has experienced a lot more life. My style changing helped me grow into my own person. When I was younger, I just wanted to wear what all the other little girls were wearing. Now, I can wear what I want to and express myself through that. My music changing is a sign of the times. My room, going from toys everywhere to things I actually need to clean up, shows that I found what hard work is and where it can take you. The music I listened to was what was popular for me and my age group then, and it has evolved into something that I can relate to now. My sister moving out was her final step of growing up. Her room did not only change, but she completely left it behind, which is what I am going to have to do someday. The changes we make will someday not matter as much anymore. Being who I am now and not rushing to become what I want to be in the future is the best way to live in the present.
