Last year, when anyone asked me what my favorite type of story to write was, I would easily answer with one singular word: columns. I didn’t give it a second thought.
I would write columns as often as I could; they were fun to write and the easiest for me. Now, I haven’t written a column in over four months.
When summer was starting up, I said that I was going to miss writing. One of my best friends said, “Don’t you write over the summer?” My answer was, “Of course.” I love writing over the summer. It’s something that can keep me busy and also just something fun to do.
I didn’t write a single word this past summer.
I finished my column at the end of May, and I haven’t written one since.
The other day in class, we were asked what our favorite stories to write are. We raised our hands when our favorite stories were named. When columns were named, I hesitated. My hand didn’t shoot up like it would’ve four months ago. I’m not sure what happened.
It’s not that I don’t know what to write about; I have multiple ideas written down. I have both a section on my notes app and a Google Doc. Both are filled with a wide variety of lyrics and ideas.
I don’t think I would say it’s writer’s block; I’ve written my other stories that I’ve published this year easily. Just not columns. Have I lost the passion for writing that I used to have?
I don’t think that I lost my passion for writing. I think I’ve just moved on to other things.
I like writing reviews a lot more than I used to. Also, I’m weirdly starting to love interview stories. I’ve always liked features, but this year, I have a newfound appreciation for them. I also wrote a lifestyle for the second time ever, and I really enjoyed it.
I just wish I still loved writing columns.
I think comparing my columns to others has also made me lose my love for writing columns. I read others’ columns, and I wish that I could write like them. I wish that I could just think of words like “docile” and “malign” off the top of my head. I wish that my vocabulary was as broad as others’ is. Everyone else’s columns are incredible; their words seem like they just flow onto the page. I wish that I could do that.
I miss writing columns.
I know that I’ve changed since last year, but I hope that I haven’t changed so much that I never write another column again. I hope to stop comparing myself to others, and I hope to stop holding myself to such high expectations. I hope that I begin to enjoy writing columns again.
