Since my high school years began in 2024, the phrase I am best known for is “this is so much better than middle school.” But as the weather gets warmer and my lunch table is in the dim, depressing lighting of our school cafeteria, I think back to my years in middle school. More specifically, eighth grade.
Eighth grade was filled with ladybugs in the hallways, resulting from the doors left open in the spring air, classes that I didn’t bat an eye at, not listening in class, and a bad GPA. But what mattered was that I didn’t care. Eighth grade for me was a breath of fresh air that I didn’t even know I had—waking up every morning excited to see my friends and skipping class with my friends during our hour of band.
Unlike today, in the dim lighting of the lunch room, I used to have a handmade sandwich in my hand, with bees going after my applesauce outside on the bench, sticky from lunch before. Lunch was filled with laughter, in sync with my friends, not dread about the AP exams coming up.
The years filled with joy and laughter are gone, but when the weather starts to get nicer, and the memories fill my head, I think about how carefree I used to be during the years of 7th and 8th grade. I hope to go back to find the amount of joy I felt during that time, and maybe it isn’t impossible to achieve that goal.
Now, I find myself staying up late hours of the night, studying for classes that won’t matter to me in two years when I graduate from high school. Will I find the same happiness that I found in middle school when I graduate from high school? Or will I find it in my final years of high school? I see it in myself more every day, when I wake up in the morning feeling like the day might go as I would like it to, rather than dreading the day to come.
I hope to find the same excitement that I felt during middle school in the future, and maybe after AP exams, the spark that I once felt will come back. After the pounds of schoolwork are off my plate, I can finally take a break to do the things I love and see the light of who I really am.
