Maintaining my youth in the chaos of growing up


I am a bird soaring through the air, but steadily and without the freedom that most possess. 

Back and forth. Back and forth. I make no progress.

I fly, though in place, without an ability to escape. There is no escaping how fast life moves and how quickly I grow up.

With the wind in my hair, I pump and push, escalating higher and higher, surrounded by the childish setting of an elementary school playground on a swing. Talking with my friends—whom I dragged along with me—about anything and everything. Discussing life, growing up, and how chaotic it all can seem. But unlike the birds, I am not set free from all of the mayhem pushing me down.

All throughout the summer, I would force my friends to come with me to various playgrounds around the area and just swing. It was a way to try and escape from all of our responsibilities, forget the drama of high school, and neglect the deadlines of college applications and the rapidly approaching start of senior year.

I flap my wings, but I am stuck: held by the chains and the bars that push me down.

Swinging—while it may seem silly—helped me to remember to have fun and enjoy the little moments. Even if I can’t break free from life’s routines and fast pace, I can still allow myself to forget it for a moment.

Such a simple thing brought me back to the days when things were a little easier. I always loved to go on the swings as a kid, and now it is no different. Then, it was just a recess pastime, but now it’s a hideaway from reality.

But back then, I had just hatched. I was young, new, naive, and confused.

Growing up, it’s hard to realize how quickly everything is changing. I didn’t realize that every day I was progressing and emerging, but now it feels that I can’t slow down from all of the chaos to stop and catch my breath; yet, the childish ambiance of a playground assists in putting it all into perspective.

I don’t know what drew me to the playground, probably just the boredom that summer brings, but now I want to fly away with the birds and escape from the chains that hold me to my tumultuous life.

I want to fly away with the birds and escape from the chains that hold me to my tumultuous life.”

Sometimes, doing things that make you feel like a kid again will help you to escape from your daily routine and autopilot lifestyle; but, it may cause you to want to free yourself from it all.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

I am stuck in the motion.