I am content yet still struggling

Me+and+one+of+my+closest+friends+when+I+felt+truly+happy.+

Me and one of my closest friends when I felt truly happy.

If asked how I am, the answer ranges depending on how close I am to that person. If a stranger asks, my answer is the generic “Good, thanks, how are you?” If a friend asks, I’ll say, “I’m doing great! Thanks, how are you doing?” But, depending on the day, my best friends will get, “I’m so tired and done.” 

It’s increasingly popular for teenagers to be depressed, and it seems everyone I talk to either can’t sleep or cries themselves to sleep almost every night. Getting proper sleep is a rarity, and it seems no high schooler has proper mental health; maybe none of them do. 

I sleep every night; it seems like it takes forever to fall asleep, and most nights it takes a while, but I always get an almost perfect amount of sleep. I can’t recall crying myself to sleep since I was a little kid getting in trouble. I can say for certain that I am not depressed. I have my off days, and I’ve gone through weeks where I only got out of bed because I didn’t want to miss school, but still I can say I’m not depressed. 

This last month was a stressful one. School has been bringing me down, but I still am happy.

It’s increasingly popular for teenagers to be depressed, and it seems everyone I talk to either can’t sleep or cries themselves to sleep almost every night”


Maybe it’s because I get outside every day. Maybe it’s because I see my family relatively often. Maybe it’s because I’d like to say I’m an athletic person. Maybe it’s because I do well in school.  Maybe that’s why I’m not depressed. It could be because my parents make sure my room is clean and keep me in check. There are so many reasons that benefit my mental health and make it so I’m not depressed. 

Yet, I’m angry almost always; something is making me anxious but the emotion I show instead is anger. I try to explain it, but I don’t quite understand it myself. Why is it that if I’m upset I radiate anger instead? If I’m sad, I can be extremely mean just because I don’t know how to express and understand my emotions.

Thankfully, though, I’ve gotten a bit better at covering my anger and being kind. 

Emotions are hard to understand and handle, and I’m lucky enough to say I am happy. I don’t have a mental illness—those who do are warriors, by the way—and I try my best to just love life.