A glimpse into my future

A telescope overlooking a vast city.

Finding Your Focus Through 'Deep Work'

A telescope overlooking a vast city.

I have never been one to procrastinate too much about my future or what it could bring, but with college planning, SATs, ACTs, and AP classes starting to be a prominent aspect in my life, I have found myself looking forward to the possibilities. 

For many, the stress of picking the right classes, finding a good college, and planning for the future can be extremely stressful. I myself have periods of time where I experience this; I start to feel like I am trying to sort through millions of tiny details, but in the end, I have found myself embracing my future with a hopeful attitude. 

I had found myself feeling exhausted at the pressures of my parents and people around me to make the right decisions for my upcoming life of adulthood and feeling down since I felt inadequate about my future and myself. I soon got lost in a train of thought about my lack of talent and how I wished to possess a skill that I could bring with me through all the upcoming years. I had desired a natural skill like singing, dancing, or the art of photography. Alas, I was not born with these gifts. 

I was utterly destroyed at the fact that I couldn’t truly do what I love as a living. 

I can only control right now.”

— Paulina Diesen

Adults will always say to do what you love for a living, but how often can people really do what they love as a job? I have such a large accumulation of tasks that I loved to do, but I know that I am not good enough to do these for a career. Not only that but I also know I would soon lose my loving relationship with these tasks if I was forced to do them as a job. 

All of this was spinning and colliding together in my head as I started to feel the weighted pressure of anxiety pool in my stomach. 

I had to calm myself, and as I sat trying to think of anything else, one thought came through my head: I can only control right now.

I can only control right now.

This was the only thing I could think of, and it has been carried with me over the past few days. Since that moment, I have used that phrase to push me through boring, arduous classes, and it has inspired me to do the things I love every day. 

I’ve trained myself to remember to focus on the present and to grow the things I love to be a large part of my life. I’ve made time to work on the jewelry I adore to make and am even in the process of opening my own online store to buy my jewelry. 

Although it’s taken me so long for such a simple phrase to click, I’ve been reminding myself every day that if I push myself here and now, if I take the classes that I believe will inspire me and will make me happy, then I will find myself in a point where I love my life and my choices in the future.