For my dearest, Luna

Luna+sits+in+my+lap.+I+cant+wait+for+her+to+come+home%21

Heather Schanski

Luna sits in my lap. I can’t wait for her to come home!

My dearest Luna, 

You have no idea how badly I have longed for you. With every heartbeat and with every drop of blood, I have been yearning for you for as long as I can remember. 

When I was young and naive, I would write you down just hoping that my mom would make a mistake and pick you up at the grocery store. 

I began to take a different approach when I was old enough to consider how scientific discoveries would sway my parents’ decisions. I would write research papers on how you could help with happiness and lower depression—ironically, I fell victim to that without you. 

I watched as my friends and family received companions and etched a painful smile on my face, but in reality, I was jealous. I felt the furious monster stir in the pit of my stomach. The demon would wriggle up to my throat, and I would have to shut my mouth to preserve peace. For me, it wasn’t fair; everyone else was happy, so why couldn’t I be. 

With every heartbeat and with every drop of blood, I have been yearning for you for as long as I can remember. ”

Every time my parents would claim to have a surprise, I would always secretly hope I would finally be able to have what seemingly everyone else had, but alas, that was never the case. 

Each time, my heart would break a little more, knowing that I couldn’t have my dream until I was an adult and living in my own house. Eventually, I lost all hope for getting you or your fellow canine companions. 

Until finally, one day, my parents sat me at the table and told me what I’d been hoping for my entire life: I was finally getting a puppy. 

Suddenly, my heart broke for one last time, but instead of emptiness, my chest cavity was filled with sunlight. Then, without meaning to, I broke down in tears. 

I shed tears for all the times I wrote “dog” on the grocery list. 

I shed tears for all of the days I vigorously researched the benefits of having a dog in your household. 

I shed tears for all of the disappointment. 

I shed tears for all of the heartbreak. 

I shed tears for all of the dreams dogs haunted throughout my youth. 

I shed tears for all of the days of dog sitting, just pretending like it was enough. 

I don’t think I’d be happier in my life. 

I can’t wait to bring you home to love you like I always have. 

Love you like I always will. 

I love you.