My notebooks have become the runoff for the back alleys of my mind


A dreadful anticipation grows as soon as August starts. Students are rushing to be prepared for school with new notebooks and materials whilst trying to squeeze out the last drops of enjoyment from their summertime. But the students have experienced a change in culture, from paper to the screen, which leaves much of their once-full notebooks a barren wasteland awaiting use, which is why I couldn’t be any happier about the availability of paper for my imagination.

Being a mentally hyperactive human has been a gift and a curse. For one, I get to think of crazy and amazing things that—hopefully—only I could think of. However, it can also pose a distraction for times when I need to focus on more important things, and it can also make me wish I was somewhere I am not. 

Fortunately for me, schoolwork has become more and more online and digital. Whether or not this change has been beneficial for schools, it has allowed me to have more space to draw and get ideas out of my mind when they are all clogged up.  

As a result of my free-range creativity, many of the pages near the backs of my notebooks have become dedicated to art. Many pages lack context or meaning, while others I might regard as some of the best art I have created. I can rip out the ones I love and flip to the back pages and see the others. 

Ironically, when I actually have time to express myself in my own sketchbooks, my mind gets stuck in a black hole. There is no overabundance, there is only the occasional thought and idea. I’m not sure why this happens, and I wish that it didn’t happen. Perhaps my mind is stimulated by boredom, an experience that schools are in no short supply of. 

My pages have been splattered and made a mess, but they aren’t disorganized or pointless. In a world filled with the hoax of color and creative freedom, my mind still finds itself dulled, trapped, and held back.      

My notebooks have become my new playground, my experiment, my freedom. Eventually, the pages will run out and all the space will be taken. Despite all of that, my mind will still have ideas, and I will still have more to give and show. I have so much more to see and do. And if my math class is only a small percentage of the world around me, imagine what the rest of it can bring.