My whole life, I’ve gone through major changes every few years. Living on three different continents in the span of six years gave me so many experiences I could never have imagined. Through every single adjustment I had to make, I’ve received hundreds of pieces of advice from dozens of people. However, the single most popular piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was, “just put yourself out there!”

I’ve never understood what putting yourself out there means, so I just smile and nod to pretend that I’ve taken in their advice. What does putting yourself out there actually mean? It could mean physically putting in more effort into presenting yourself. It could mean being more friendly, or welcoming to others around you. It means something different to every single person, so what does it mean to me?

Although I’ve never understood what the elusive sentiment actually means, I took it as being more proactive in making new friends and meeting new people. I followed it as well as I could and it has worked pretty well. Being motivated and driven got me to the point I am today, so why shouldn’t I just continue to put myself out there?

I don’t think putting yourself out there lives up to hype of always being the way to go. Just being yourself, however reserved that may be, could be just as effective as putting yourself out there. Kindness, character, and good-nature will prove superior to overstretching yourself into places you’re no longer comfortable being in. Since when has excessive self-promotion become necessary to be successful?

As much as I appreciate the advice from others, I think there are better, more inspiring pieces of advice to adhere to. Putting yourself out there is admissible to an extent, until the person you are putting out is no longer really yourself.

I’m probably not going to stop putting myself out there completely. There are still definitely going to be times where I will need to in order to stand out from others. However, it’s not going to be my go-to action when I am uneasy. Putting yourself out there should not be a social obligation, but rather a personal choice for those who feel they should.