She lives amidst the chaos, sometimes thriving and others not.
She maintains her demeanor, attempting to hold a constant in some realm of her life, but that is only achievable for so long.
Only her closest friends know about the extent of her stress—and her dogs, but that remains a secret held solely between them and her. They know her well enough to understand that, even if not spoken, she needs them.
The consistency of the fluctuations in her mood has come to define her persona entirely.
At least, in her mind.
Every step she takes and every word she speaks brings anxiety; she knows somebody could take something the wrong way, and that terrifies her. She searches for a foothold in her life. Some sense of control or something to grasp onto; anything to help her make others happy.
She may not understand it in the slightest, and every thought may run into the next with astounding force, but she knows that much for certain.
Regardless, to the outside world, she looks to be put together. She has her flaws, of course, but she walks with conviction and smiles. She’d do anything to make sure that those around her understand that she holds so much love for them in her heart.
Each qualm, each perturbation in her mind is gone the moment she must be there for somebody. That’s something she takes pride in, but also shame.
She knows she should hold on to the things she knows to be true, but she also knows that there is no greater love than that which she holds for others. There seems to be no way to regain the control she once had over that passion, but she’s learned something: she doesn’t need to mask it.
Through the storm comes the calm in the form of those she loves so dearly.
She is human.
There are beautiful people in her life, and she finally understands that they are in her life for a reason.
They each have their own type of love for her, and they show it in countless ways across the board.
Be it through staying up late and crying over stupid movies at sleepovers, holding her when she needs to be held, or just watching her comfort series with her over and over again, they all love her.
They’re not going to leave her, and she’s finally beginning to understand that.
With her constant fear of rejection—well-known by anybody in her life—they understand her more than she does, sometimes.
They know exactly how to help her. They know what she needs to hear.
They give her the validation she needs to continue doing her best through everything she does.
And, for as long as she will live, she will try her absolute hardest to make sure that they know just how much she loves them.
She may not understand it in the slightest, and every thought may run into the next with astounding force, but she knows that much for certain.
There is nothing she wouldn’t do for the people she loves.
Even—no, especially—through the chaos.
