When I was four, I would count the days until I turned five, for when I was five, I would be able to begin kindergarten.
When I turned nine, I could not wait for the day I turned ten, so I could get my ears pierced.
When I was twelve, I would pray that the days would pass faster, so I could finally turn thirteen and be an official teenager.
When I was thirteen, the age of sixteen felt so far away, and I would wish away the days, awaiting the birthday that would finally allow me to drive.
My whole life has been spent longing for time to pass by faster—anticipating something bigger, better, and more exciting. I have never had a clear-cut moment when my life was finally good enough, where I did not have to spend my time just waiting for the next big thing to happen.
While I am in the midst of an incredible moment or period in my life, all my mind can seem to think about is what is to come or what has passed. I can’t seem to enjoy the present moment. I know the phrases, “live fully” or “enjoy the current moment” are extremely cliché, but they are also true.
When I am waiting for the next thing, instead of relishing in the present moment, my life will never be fulfilled. I can never seem to embrace the current moment; instead, I am always dwelling on my past or future.
Time has seemed to be passing by faster than ever in recent years. When I think of my freshman year, that feels like it was only moments ago. I am already three years into my high school career, and when I look back, there are many incredible moments. But when I look back, I also remember all of the time I spent wishing away. All of the time I spent waiting for the bell to ring. All of the time I spent counting down the days until the weekend or next vacation. All of the time I spent living in the past or longing for the future. All that time is wasted. All that time is millions of seconds I will never get back.
Instead of wishing for things that are to come or have already happened, I need to focus on the current moment. I am done wasting my time. I only have one more year of high school, and I want to revel in each moment.
The average American lifetime is 76 years, which is equivalent to 4,732 weeks. I have already lived about 860 of those weeks, which means I have less than 3,000 weeks left.
I am ready to stop waiting for the next thing, and I am ready to stop thinking my life will be “perfect” once I achieve the next thing. I am ready to live in the right here and right now.
