Dear younger me:
I wish to be you again. Walking around as your pigtails flail with your delicate strides, you provoke fear in the adults’ eyes because they don’t know how to deal with such an atrocity. You think you want to grow up, but trust me, you do not. Remain the little girl you are and hold on to that while you still can. Age will steal you from me soon enough.
Enjoy the moments full of triumph when you are soaring through the soccer field, glancing over at Mom after you score a goal. When you can run over to her after the game and hear her appraisal and compliments about how well you played. Soon enough, soccer will no longer be a part of your life.
Swim in the backyard swimming pool that leaves a dead circle in Dad’s perfectly cut green grass. Go outside with the neighborhood kids, before they all disappear into the black pit of their empty homes. Enjoy the surging magic of Christmas and the excitement of Santa being on his way before it becomes hallowed. Do not take the sibling sleepovers on Christmas Eve for granted because soon they will be gone.
Listen to every word of Dad reading The Hardy Boys quickly before you close your tired eyes and drift off to sleep in your oversized polka-dot bed. Enjoy the naps when you get tucked into your bed and wake up to the smell of lunch and Thomas the Train because one day you will wish for more sleep as you do homework late into the night.
In my eyes, you are perfect. You are loved by more people than you could count with your stubby, dirt-covered fingers. Hold on to the memories of the “four stars.” Now, those same people will be leaving to go to college next year.
Enjoy the lucid color that encompasses your life before it begins to deteriorate into a black-and-white hue. Do not take what you have for granted because I wish I could play every memory you make vividly in my head.
Be yourself before the world robs you of it. Wear what you choose to wear and feel proud walking around in it. Go to elementary school in the most hideous, mismatched combinations of clothes that you find lying on the ground. Do not be afraid to form friendships with new people. They may not last a lifetime, but the memories will. Stay with the people who treat you well, and avoid those who do not.
Be known as the nice, kind, respectable person that you are, and do not let people take that away from you. No matter the conditions, be known as a reliable person that people can open up to, even if they do not know you well.
Life will come to you. It will not always be good, but I will never only be bad. I am always looking out for you.
From,
Your future self
