While I never had the pleasure of experiencing middle school drama, I have experienced high school pettiness, bullying, envy and betrayal. Navigating one’s way through all the roadblocks of hate can be difficult. Throughout my life, I have had many wise souls pass along maps that help me dodge the roadblocks of hate. I have been lucky enough have the tools along the way to dodge potentially harmful situations. Although I am rarely in the mix of a problem, I have spent many times standing along the sidewalk, watching all the friendships break like cars getting into a crash that could have been avoidable. It’s just like knowing the rules of the road like: green means go, yellow means use caution, and red means stop. There are rules to relationships and the heart.

Hurting people hurt people

I have heard this saying since I was in kindergarten but it never truly made any sense to me. The phrase “hurting people hurt people” is confusing, but let’s break it down- people who are hurting on the inside are damaged. Someone or something has broken them before. When someone is not complete on the inside and hurting, they might bring their own hurt upon someone else. And while it’s easy to lash back, don’t. They are already hurting inside, and you lashing back might be more detrimental.

When someone is being hurtful to others, take a step back and respond not with anger or rage- instead, take a deep breathe and look at it from a big picture. Is anyone even truly evil enough to be hurtful just for the fun of it? No. They have hurt in their heart so they are just reciprocating it back in the world. If you respond back with a spiteful tongue, it will only cause the problem to grow bigger. Instead, while it may be extremely difficult, see where they are coming from, and why they are hurting. Responding with a cool tongue is key. Help them see the bigger picture.

People who hurt people are at such a low energy frequency. They are more likely to be more hurt than the victim of their torment is. They have low self-esteem and it doesn’t help anyone if you stoop down to their level. If you were driving on the highway and you saw a car trying to race and them speeding off would you join? No. You would probably shake your head and say, “What an idiot. They’re probably going to hurt themselves,” and continue driving in your lane.

It never hurts to show kindness, even with your tormentors. In the end, it might end up helping them see the light, why would they continue being mean to someone who is showing kindness, forgiving, and not being affected by their actions, as it will help you live a life of forgiveness and empathy.