The colors of my life


As I looked behind at the road I have already traveled, I can now see what I have been unable to see before. I am eighteen now. Each color painted through the clouds represents a different emotion I have felt throughout my years. Looking at that sky, there are two main sections: warm colors and cool colors.

It’s unfortunate that I would classify a majority of my days as blue. Blue, in my eyes, does not necessarily mean depressed. The pool of light blue represents days I felt dull. Those were the days when I didn’t see a point but wasn’t overcome with sadness. As the shades of blue cascade into darker colors, I see the depression that seeped into my life. Shades of cobalt and admiral formed thunderclouds over my head. The worst came in shades of navy. Above, you can see that the darkest blues are sporadically distributed throughout. The days of blue were bearable, but the navy was my Achilles’ heel.

A sliver of warmth that shone through the clouds was enough to keep me going even when I didn’t want to. I have memories filled with love, happiness, contentment, relaxation, and peace. On my best days, I swore I had the Midas touch. I viewed the world as expansive, optimistic, and bright. My best days were ribbons of yellow intertwined with streams of orange and red. My best days protruded into my eyes because they brought hope.

Thoughts of my future leave me high-strung. I’m not someone who likes feeling out of control, so the word “future,” having so much uncertainty and question, makes me apprehensive. I want to take life head-on and fearlessly. My next stage of life is a big one: college. This concept almost doesn’t feel real to me because it’s so unfamiliar. Right now, all I’ve ever known is grade school. In seven months, I’ll be stepping into new territory, forced to make new routines. This will be my new normal.

I want to experience the bright colors for all my days. All the virtues listed above have me electrified for my future. I want all the reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows to overflow in my life leaving the cool tones with little-to-no space. It’s a flawed system, life. Because of this, I know I can’t get what I want. I know there will be days saturated in blue, but I can take it.

My colors have made me stronger, and I am vibrantly ready for my future.