Being the only one to not raise my hand out of a class 25 students was scary and stressful and made me realize just how important it was for me to start.

As a senior, I know how important it is to start applying to college. What I didn’t know, was how painstakingly long and complicated the process was. Not knowing what I want to do to further my academic career or where I want to go doesn’t exactly help either.

When counselor Rick Bolhuis came in and started talking about the process, I was extremely overwhelmed. I freaked out, internally of course, over the mere fact that when he asked who had already started applying to colleges, I was the only one who didn’t raise their hand. That worried me. Was I doing something wrong? Is it normal to be applying this early or was I surrounded by a class of overachievers?

To be completely honest, I am so terrified that I won’t get accepted to college as does everyone else. Why not just go to community college for a year? I’ve just seen that work out poorly for people too many times. I’ve just always seen myself packing up and going off to college, I want the full effect. I don’t want to have to ask my parents to go do this or that; I want the freedom of being in charge of myself.

Not knowing where I want to go to college or what I want to major in is something that really worries me. I have goals in my life: having an apartment that overlooks a skyline and having the financial leeway to buy my mom a car in order to make up for all the things that she has done for me. I want my family to be proud of me, not to look down on me for being unsuccessful in life.

I just want my parents to be proud of me. I want to be able to support them and take care of them they way the have for me in these past 17 years. My parents have done so much for me and being successful in life is how I want to be able to repay them.

When I’m older, a lot older, and have kids, I don’t want them to have to worry where their next meal is coming from or have to raise themselves because both of their parents are too busy working 2 jobs to be able to support the family.

What it feels like, to me, is that if I don’t go to college and get a degree that pays well and is something I love doing, then all my dreams will shatter like fine china hitting the floor. I need to go to college and if I don’t get accepted. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. But I know I don’t want to end up living in my parents basement as a 30 year old with no life.

College is important for everyone, we all just have different reasons.