Is it something I decide or is it something that just happens? Throughout this past week I’ve really been thinking about my future. Is college really what I want to do? Should I take a gap year? Do I want to travel before I go to college? What’s my future?

Truth be told, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Unfortunately, life and the the world around us isn’t going to stop just so that we’re able to make an informed decision. I’ve been applying to colleges purely for the fact the it’s just what everyone else is doing. It’s not that I fear rejection because I think I’m not smart enough or I don’t have good enough grades. I’m just not sure if college is my future.

I would absolutely love to take a year off and be able to travel the world, but that costs money that I don’t exactly have. I’m not exactly fluent in any language either; I know basic Spanish but that’s about it.

I’ve always seen myself leaving to go somewhere, but the destination is still a blur to me. Making the decision doesn’t help either when someone is constantly asking, “Where are you thinking about going?” or “What major are you interested in?” Also, when I reply with the simple “I’m still undecided” the look on their face is just like someone saying “Oh….okay…” and if we’re being real here, it kind of hurts.

College is the first time you’re living on your own, making your own decisions, and having the “college experience,” and I can see myself doing that. Traveling could, perhaps, give some of the same experiences. This is why this decision is so hard for me. I could go to college and get the education to have a career and a good life or I could go around the world and learn life lessons that they just can’t teach in a classroom.

Do I really have any control over my future at this point? With college it’s someone else making the final decision of whether you get in or not. Traveling, at least with the freedoms I have, I get to decide where I want to go with almost no questioning. I can go somewhere without someone having to read documents on top of documents. What is that going to do for me? Along with it, I’d have to find someone to travel with because I absolutely do not want to travel on my own. The memories that would be made would be different than something you would get at a college party, football game, etc.

Whether I go to college straight out of high school or if I take a gap year, I still want to make memories with friends that we can laugh about in years to come.