A thin, white slip of paper with my name imprinted on it is the only thing keeping my incentives afloat as we inch towards spring break. 

A simple plane ticket is so much more than just boarding access to an aircraft; it’s my only source of stimulus. 

The duration from after winter break to spring break is the longest time we’re in school with no halts aside from weekends. Despite our exhausting transitions from virtual, hybrid, and in-person learning, I need a break. Although most may interpret online school as a free pass to sit under the covers all day, learning virtually did not count as a break—at least not for me.

The back and forths of inconsistency because of the pandemic have been draining. With full Zooming, I could not—for the life of me—maintain any math knowledge. Hybrid consisted of attempts to teach myself the lessons at home, then come to school, take a test on the material, and fail. With in-person, every day feels the exact same as I set the same alarm for 6:35 a.m. and make the same exact drive to school every morning—every day feels like a Monday. 

There’s no happy medium here.   

Between balancing long hours of two dance teams, three AP classes, and carving out time for my friends and family, I haven’t had a gap for myself.

Now, as we near the outskirts of spring break, I am finally, once and for all, receiving the hiatus I deserve—that we all deserve.

Students and teachers have been working so undeniably hard in this unprecedented year, and I am so relieved we decisively get a recess. I am eager to escape from Grand Rapids and FHC; I am in desperate need of time off from the real world.

Thinking ahead, we juniors have three straight days of standardized testing that very well may determine our collegiate future. And that is scary; however, looking on the bright side, that leaves two and a half months left of the school year until the long-awaited summer. 

Oh, but wait. AP exams are the first two weeks of May. However, after that, life will be a breeze. Well, after my college tours and early applications are done—as you can see, the cycle of stress is never-ending.  

But for now, I’m trying to keep the ‘good days on my mind’ as SZA—my queen—says. What I’m trying to get across is that I’m never going to thrive if I maintain a negative mindset.

At least I’ve got that thin, white slip of paper.