Twelve years ago, at the Kids Choice Awards 2010, the cast of Victorious was wearing middle school dance chic, and Justin Bieber, arguably, rocked the aggressive swoosh hairstyle. This era all together was casual, but for an award ceremony, it didn’t give the audience much. But, unfortunately, the positive but drastic change we’ve seen from all of fashion this year hasn’t carried over into the Kids Choice Awards 2022.

The first star whose mere presence stood out to me was iCarly star, and host for the Awards themselves, Miranda Cosgrove. While it felt like her career, which started in 2007, has drastically changed since her prime, she has been known for something else this year. In Whitney Cumming’s Good For You podcast, Cosgrove claimed that to become edgier, she might dye her hair and “swear a little.” This line in itself has gotten her a one-way ticket to being a meme. 

The awkward presence she never seemed to outgrow since her teenage years seriously shone through in these moments. Cosgrove is now branded with her favorite cuss word being the f-word, so why did Nickelodeon even invite her to the Kids Choice Awards when the main money-maker for the brand, JoJo Siwa, wasn’t?

Orange is rarely a flattering color, but Cosgrove thought she could pull it off—she miserably failed. As if the palette wasn’t out-there enough for her, she chose for the mini dress to be covered in feathers; she looks like a Mardi Gras parade float gone wrong. I can think of very few models who could pull this off; not even Gigi Hadid could do this. I can’t believe she thought this would be a good choice when the camera would mainly be on her and cohost Rob Gronkowski.

My unpopular opinion regarding social media stars would be that I actually like the teenage sensation: Charlie D’Amelio. While her family and Hulu original show can be on the cringey side, she’s living the life most of us wanted from a young age. She has well over one-hundred thirty million followers so her spot at the Awards was well-deserved.

Her dress wasn’t the most stunning thing I’ve seen from her, but I really liked that it was young looking. A lot of her dresses are matte, cool colors that make her look gorgeous, but I was overjoyed to see her experimenting with different materials. This glittery, short dress reminded me a lot of the nineteen-year-old singer, Olivia Rodrigo’s, Grammys dress. She looked absolutely stunning, and her jewelry matched perfectly. It was sophisticated in the most teenage way possible; you could tell she was really enjoying herself. 

Her sister, Dixie D’Amelio, was wearing a futuristic inspired dress, which really didn’t catch my eye in the best way. Her skirt looked like therapeutic pillows put together, while her top looked 3D printed. While the top’s cutouts were interesting to look at, all of these materials together were just not what Dixie has the potential to do.

I was surprised to see Peyton List, child actress for the arguably more successful brand, Disney. While she started her show, Jessie, at age twelve, she is now twenty-four and much more of an established adult. Her career is still thriving, but I had thought, like most of the stars her age, she would be getting away from kids TV. 

Regardless, her outfit was the exact opposite of confusing. From her tank top and dress pants to mesh gloves and lace detailing, this outfit just worked. The silver accessories all came together and made the look complete as well. I wish I could describe my emotions as shocked, but List has always been a style icon. This look was so 2022, and I was proud that she didn’t shy away from her own personal style for this ceremony. 

A woman who I also thought was trying to shy away from children’s TV was actress turned pop singer, Sabrina Carpenter. While she spent a lot of her late teens and early twenties as mainly irrelevant compared to her success in 2014, her scandal that included Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett brought her back into the spotlight she’s claimed to be in all of her life. But her fame quickly dissolved since her breakup with the actor. 

Seeing her at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, for the multiple reasons listed, was surprising. Her makeup and heels were super cute and definitely up her alley, but her dress was a little suspect. I am 100% for body positivity, but this dress is so unflattering for her. The colors weren’t the issue, the cut outs were just incredibly ugly. But then again, she isn’t exactly known for her smart choices in dresses. 

At MTV’s VMAs, Carpenter wore something that looked like thin bubble wrap loosely draped around her body. Or, again at MTV, Carpenter wore something that looked like a black swimsuit and a mesh, sparkly coverup. She always seems to miss the memo, and this was no exception.

Again, on the list of interesting guests: Jack Harlow. Don’t get me wrong, I love the man—he’s so funny and extremely talented in his field, but why is this rapper chilling at a kid’s award show? When I was the age where I would take part in the voting for the Awards, I would never even think about listening to his designated genre—either ten-year-olds are openly listening to explicit music or Nickelodeon was completely off the mark on this one.

Known for wearing interesting colors and flashy jewelry, his red button up and pants at this show were just not up to his usual standard—was his stylist on spring break? On one side of the spectrum we have people like Jules LeBlanc, who attempted to dress to impress, and on the other we have Harlow, who dressed completely casually.

One of the world’s most recognizable actors, that never seemed to age from his teenage face until he hit his forties, Ralph Macchio was at the ceremony as well. When I thought no one could get any more casual than Harlow, Macchio proceed to look like he bought his entire outfit, last minute, from Walmart. While I thought it was sweet that his T-shirt was a tribute to his former mentor, Pat Mortia, that mixed with a black zip-up looked so slouchy. 

Everyone obviously dressed themselves and took conservative to a whole new, disappointing level. For the most part, the makeup was subpar and the outfits weren’t giving. The dress code was much more strict than any red carpet I’ve ever seen, so it didn’t give the guests any room to work.

The Kids Choice Awards 2022 did not impress in a fashion sense and was an absolute mess, but the producers should have been able to guess this considering who they had invited. While there were very few wins out of many guests, I’m glad I didn’t sit through the entirety of the actual program because I would most likely be more disappointed than I am right now.