I recently wrote a story saying goodbye. I said goodbye to my favorite seniors that have graduated. It made me really sad and really happy at the same time. I am so happy for them, because I know that they are all going to thrive in college, but it made me sad, too, because I love them all and I want them to stay forever.

I realized that goodbyes can be a good thing. But, another good thing can be hellos. I’m saying goodbye to so many things right now: the seniors as they move to college, my friends and teachers for the summer, and the end of my freshman year. The end of my new beginning.

I’m saying hello to so many things, too: new experiences, new people, what will hopefully be one of the greatest summers ever, and—eventually—my sophomore year.

It feels to me right now like I just started my freshman year. It feels like I just walked into the building as a high school student for the first time. It feels like yesterday, I had no clue what I was doing in Algebra, and now I know what a quadratic is and what an exponential equation is. 

I can’t believe that I’m ending my freshman year, but it’s the truth, and I don’t know how to handle it.

People always say that high school gets worse as it goes on, but I don’t want to believe that. It will be hard, I know that, but I’d like to think that as I figure out who I am, school will get easier, and I’ll enjoy it more. I know next year will be hard—one of my favorite people is graduating—but I also know that I’m going to grow a lot over the summer and the next year.

I’m ready though, to meet the person I will learn to be—the person I want to be. I’m ready to move past everything that has happened. I’m ready to be my best self, and to love myself, and to put myself first. Freshman Alex did it all for everyone else. Sophomore Alex is doing everything for herself.

I can’t wait to say hello to that person, because she is going to need help, she is going to cry, and she is going to struggle just like she is now, but she is going to be an amazing person because I am going to love her. No matter how hard, I am going to love her.

I’m ready to say goodbye to this year of my life. It’s been a difficult year—I am a freshman, and high school is hard—so I’m ready for it to be over even if I’ll miss it. Goodbye freshman year.

Hi, I’m Alex. I’m about to be a sophomore. I like reading, writing, singing, and playing my guitar. I don’t know who I am yet, and I don’t know who you are. But that’s okay. We’ll figure it out.