In kindergarten, one of the first things that the kids do is learn each other’s names. Sure, they’re five years old and might forget it in a few seconds, but over the years of being in class with the same people, the names must start to stick. And it is important that they do.

When you meet anyone, the first question that people normally ask is, “What’s your name?” This is because it is one of the most important facts about anyone that you meet. It is more than just a name; it’s their identity, their title.

I have always made an effort to remember everyone’s names. It seems rude not to. If someone doesn’t know my name after meeting me at least three times, then I feel hurt. But more importantly, I feel forgettable. I imagine that most other people feel the same way. 

Remembering someone’s name is the simplest, most meaningful compliment that you are able to give.

When someone addresses you personally rather than with a general greeting, you feel influential and respected. On the other hand, if someone addresses you with a general greeting, people generally feel insulted. 

According to researchers at York University, human brains can remember ten thousand faces over the course of their lifetime. It is not reasonable for someone to forget. This is strikingly true when you consider that a name is one of the most basic and fundamental parts of everyone.

Being able to remember someone’s name—essentially someone’s identity—increases the probability that they will like you too. It is always nice to be remembered, whether it’s your name or a different fact that you shared with them earlier. People take it as a sign of respect and of being influential. 

In general, people appreciate being remembered. When you do something as easy as putting a name to a face, you make them feel worth remembering, which can be priceless to some. 

Knowing someone’s name can be especially important when it comes to nicknames, or if someone wants to be called something different than what their birth certificate says it is. Just like it is disrespectful to call someone by a different pronoun than what they want to go by, it is disrespectful to call someone a different name than what they feel most comfortable with. This is especially accurate when they had already introduced themselves previously to you with the name of their choice and you had since forgotten it.

On the flip side, sometimes people honestly make an innocent mistake by forgetting someone’s name. This can still make the unrecognized person feel hurt, however as long as it is not repeated, it is forgivable. 

If you are the type of person who refers to themselves as “horrible with names,” there are multiple ways to better recall them. First, know your goal; if you are not focused on wanting to know their name, then chances are you won’t pay attention and will forget. Next, you’ll want to repeat the name as soon as possible after learning it. Lastly, try to focus on one unique facial feature. If you are able to connect the feature and the person’s name, there is a larger chance that you will be able to remember it. Mnemonic devices are another surefire way to have better name recollection.

It is not a laborious task to remember someone’s name; it is their identity, and ultimately, you should desire to know it.