My planner sits empty like a blank canvas that has something to say but is silenced by the pens and pencils that just aren’t willing to dance. Pages and pages are filled with endless tasks just waiting to have their box finally get a check and a feeling of satisfaction within your body. But other times, there are other pages that just don’t get a chance to speak—a blank page. Every now and then, almost like the pattern on a chess board, the blank spaces represent all the spaces you can or can’t go, depending on what “team” you are. 

So, now, I write everything down, because why not? If it’s not written down, in my mind it doesn’t exist. Writing it down is a physical representation of the task being engraved into a stone that is my bullet journal. 

Although some of the pages in my book don’t always get the chance to shine, I don’t let that worry me. Instead, I find hope in knowing that one day—when the time is right—these pages will be filled with the most amazing things that will help me relate to life, when the timing is right. 

Before I discovered a “bullet journal,” I was very much a designated pre-planned person: having a book that had all the dates and reminders filled in for me. The problem wasn’t that it was already there, it was that I didn’t have the ability to do it myself, it was “pre” done.

 I was the person who would try to confine her never-ending days into the tiny spaces that were already created for me and became “prerequisite” reminders for me. But the more and more I tried utilizing such “templates” that were already written for me, the more I realized that I rely too much on what’s already been created, I want to do things my own way too. 

That’s why I started using a bullet journal. It not only allows me to allot my time in the way I wish, but use my journal in the best way possible: a system that is compatible for both me and my brain. 

When I think about books, whether that be phone books, notebooks, or even planners, I don’t always think about why they are used, I also think about how they can be used and interpreted in different ways. The way I’ve interpreted books has always been like the “book of secrets”:  the resources that everyone knows are available to use but just aren’t willing to take the time and aptitude to apply to their advantage. 

This is why, someday in the future, when I find a reason to fill those silent yet so meaningful blank pages, I will. I don’t know what exactly they will entail, but I know it will be something incredible. Whether it be filled with quotes, silly doodles, endless to-do lists, or just a scribble that looks like it was done by a child, at the end of the day we’re all human too, and it’s ok to express ourselves.