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The Student Voice of Forest Hills Central

The Central Trend

The Student Voice of Forest Hills Central

The Central Trend

The Student Voice of Forest Hills Central

The Central Trend

The world around her: shattered

The+view+outside+of+my+cruise+cabin+balcony
Lily Bouma
The view outside of my cruise cabin balcony

All at once, my life shattered into something I never thought I’d know: the feeling of being alone. 

One seemingly normal Thursday morning slowly turned into a night of unbelieving agony. My heart broke into a million pieces that day; I don’t think it will ever revert back to its original form.

I woke up that sunny November day with the feeling that I had everything I wanted, and fell asleep as an empty body, my heart and soul were shattered. I have felt a sense of longing since then — longing for the fulfillment of someone else’s presence.

The life lessons that I was shown by the person I loved will never be forgotten, and I’m sure I will always love him, but I now know that it is time to say goodbye. 

I look for the person that I once loved in every interaction I experience, but it’s never the same. Although the situation in itself sounds sad, every similarity points me in a direction that is entirely different. I don’t want it to be the same.

Having to learn how to be alone after two years is the worst thing, and I’d never wish it upon my worst enemy; I wouldn’t wish this upon the person who did this to me. 

My life was shattered into something new.

Though, after an uncertain amount of time, it almost felt like a relief. The feeling of being alone came with the freedom of doing what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to; I was shown a whole new perspective on living my life. Without this newfound clarity, I would never be able to truly love myself like I do right now.

Even if I do hopelessly wonder if I’ll ever get back what I once had, I know that it’s not what I want. With the new sense of being alone, I can fulfill my needs without the worry and care of someone else’s well-being: I can completely and utterly focus on myself. 

I was shown what it meant to have teenage love, and I was also shown what it meant to have teenage heartache. Although it hurt enough to the point where I didn’t know if there was an end, I did get to experience what it means to be a child.

I know I said that I don’t think my heart will ever feel that whole again, but honestly, I’m okay with that. I loved and was loved; I hurt and was hurt. It sucks feeling like I lost the love of my life, but that just meant I needed to find something else to fill that void: I was able to fill myself with my own love.

Having experienced love so young was representative of what I do and don’t need in my life. That random day in November changed my life, but maybe it was all for the better. I guess I will find out soon enough. 

My life was shattered into something new. 

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About the Contributor
Lily Bouma, Staff Writer
Lily Bouma is a senior entering her first year on The Central Trend. Since she was young, Lily has held an intense fascination with two things: music and words. She has spent her life singing and listening to music, and writing has always come easy. When she isn't writing, singing, or working, you can find Lily spending time with her friends and family. Lily goes about her life with a sense of compassion and love. She loves anything that has to do with nature, especially flowers. She enjoys making other people smile, whether it be with her jokes or cracking out her horrible Eric Cartman impression. She is thrilled to spend the last of her high school career on The Central Trend and cannot wait to see what this school has in store for her. Favorite movie: Tangled Car: 2003 Ford Focus named Nancy Favorite song: Mirrorball by Taylor Swift Favorite Flower: Lily of the Valley (Ironic)

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