It’s the end of the year. Things are wrapping up. Everyone is on the edge of their seats, waiting for the final bell of the final day indicating summer has arrived. But this is the first week.

The seat next to me is empty as I am writing this. There are no bangs. There are no puffy red eyes or words of complaint about allergy season. There is no voice of authority. There is no Abby Scutch.

This is the first week without Abby.

If it wasn’t for TCT, I would have never met Ab. At first, I was terrified to talk to her and as the day was drawing close, I became more and more anxious. But then, out of nowhere, a notification popped up on my phone; a snapchat from the one and only. A text asking me if I would go out to eat with her for a review (which I later learned was all a test to see how “good” I was).

From that moment on, Ab was not only the person I looked up to the most but one of my best friends.

Every second of the day I was annoyed with that girl, mostly with her ability to be such a good leader; I want that more than anything. But none the less, at the end of it all, she would be the only person I wanted to see when I walked into room 139.

Now when I walk in, it’s quiet. There is no hand to squeeze when something annoys me, no shoulder to lean on as I’m editing. No one to pester with random grammar questions when I’m second guessing myself.

I have to do it all on my own now.

I know I can do it, I know I can do this all by myself, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to do this without you Ab. You make me smile and you make me laugh. TCT will go on without you and everything will be okay, but this is the first week without you and your empty seat seems just a little bit bigger today.

This is my first week.