I’m overwhelmed. 

I’m writing this column, and I’m overwhelmed.

Not because of the task at hand, but because of an accumulation of everything I am not only expected to accomplish, but also to perfect. 

I’m drowning in assignments and don’t know when the next time I will be able to swim up for air. Tests and quizzes bulldoze any sense of calmness in my life, and it’s suffocating. 

I’m feeling suffocated.

I can choose to lessen these feelings, but they will only end up intensifying later. I could take a personal day to myself and do all my favorite ataractic activities to calm myself down, but the things I’m missing at school would only occupy my mind. 

School is overwhelming me.

The only “breaks” I give myself are those given by the school, and those don’t come around often enough for any peace of mind. 

It’s a never-ending cycle I drag myself into that inevitably results in a minor breakdown at the end of it all. 

Run. Crash. Recover. Run again. 

I’m slowly burning out and can’t find time to stop the brakes and catch my breath.

I can’t find the brakes. 

And I’ve lost my breath.

I want to keep consuming things and getting smarter and always keep up with the latest on everything. I want my brain to constantly absorb new ideas. I want to stay ahead of my competition and acquaintances. But there’s just so much. 

And it never stops. 

It just multiplies.

It’s like emotional paralysis and I’m becoming immune to it all; it’s become my new normal.

I’ve found some sort of comfort in all the chaos.

This isn’t a cry for help–it’s anything but that. I’m fortunate to have the opportunities that I do. 

I’m just overwhelmed.