A train of thought
More stories from Grace Pennington
A trail of sweat travels across your forehead, leaving a stream of doubt. The doubt begins to slowly seep into your pores, dissipating, but it soon surfaces again as you reject the feeling of confidence. You begin to remember the pressure that has been bestowed to you. A new drop of courage becomes the line leader, and the doubt and pressure follow behind silently. The hopefulness slowly begins to fall out of your eyes and onto the choice positioned in front of you.
A choice that will decide the future of you.
Your brain begins to wither and fall into a state of senselessness. Your jaw begins to ache from the tautness of its clench. Your heart begins to blacken and become dismembered. You begin to whittle away from the burden of a decision. Uncertainty looms over your mind as you recall both options you are given. The decision taunts you in a voice that fills you with desperation and wonder.
“Why did you not pick me?” It bellows with an underlying tone of bitterness.
“Why was I not good enough for you?”
A spider of regret begins to creep up your spine leaving you with chills of apology. The spider makes its way up to your chin and crawls steadily into your mouth. You spit out the spider along with the countless words of apology.
Did you make the right decision?
The damage is done, and you feel defeated. You have to await the aftermath with sorrowful distress. Like waiting for the subway to arrive, your fingers fidget and your mind fills with each possible outcome. Back and forth, back and forth. Until the subway arrives, you will sit waiting with your bags of anticipation.
In the distance, you see a light beginning to spew out of the tunnel. Your heart rate quickens, and your mind wonders if the train is for you. A magnetic force pulls you towards your fate. What you have been anticipating for so long is now staring at you.
You are visited again with the hopelessness, falling out of your eyes at an even quicker rate. The doubt and pressure accompany the hopelessness, wrapping themselves around your neck.
The door to the subway opens, and you shove the negativity away. You turn and look at your fate as you take a step filled with optimism.
Your train of thought smiles back at you as the aftermath of your decision brings contentment.