Who am I to others?

Love is something that has always confused me. 

How does it happen? 

Naturally? 

From what I’ve gathered, you love those you keep around, such as friends or family. But romantic love is foreign to me. 

When I was younger, I used to have a need for romantic love, someone who cared for you, was there for you, and make you feel special. 

It just sounded so simple. 

It just sounded so nice.

As I grew older I realize why I wanted it so bad. 

I wanted it to validate myself and to find myself in someone else. 

This mindset scares me now. 

To need someone to know who I am.

That scares me. 

It’s foolish to think that I can find myself in someone else. 

It’s stupid to think that can ever make me happy. 

Before I can love someone else I need to know myself. 

Know what I want. 

Know what I like. 

Know who I am. 

Before I can love someone else, I can’t hate myself.