The simple act of a summer breath


I want the late nights, and early sunrises, and the beautiful cotton candy pastels of the early morning sky to seep into whatever bedroom I stayed in the night prior. I want the cliche driving around with the windows down blasting our favorite playlist.

I would love it if each day could be filled with something new; If I could be given the necessary time to recuperate from this year. I will finally have the time to check things off a bucket list that I made with hopes of a better future. 

I want to be whipped across the lake on an inflatable tube that is only meant to fit two people, but, somehow, we managed to cram on four people. I want to push the limits of how much fun I can have within the short span of a couple months. 

I can remember the feeling of breathing the sweet, warm, slightly sticky air in my lungs. I can feel the relief getting closer with each step I take. 

I want to breathe freely once more.

Like the light at the end of the tunnel or the last lap of a race, I keep going, hoping and praying I will make it. 

I want the double sleepovers, and I never want my best friend to have to leave my house because we have school the next morning. I want to see my extended family at random get-togethers: Fourth of July, graduation parties, and spur of the moment lake days. 

I want to spend some much needed quality time with my sister. I want to go out to eat at random places I have never been. 

I want to sleep in because I can, but get up because I want to. I have dreamed of one day having something to look forward to again. 

I want to breathe freely once more.

We are spread thin right now. Each aspect of my brain preoccupied with a different problem, each bigger than the last, but that will all stop. For those three months, my problems are easy to conquer. 

For those three months, the days fly by in a blur of happiness. I find myself forgetting which day it is because I am no longer dependent on the weekend for my relief. 

It’s an odd feeling—being able to picture your best self during the best time of year. It’s like watching my future self dance on a television screen. I am a cartoon character more than content with life. 

I have peace knowing that she will someday be my reality. 

I want to be her. 

I want summer.