Practically every day, I sit down at my sea-foam green vanity and put my small, sterling silver hoop earrings in my first ear piercings. The only variety in the tedium that is my jewelry is changing my second ear piercings between plain round diamond studs, butterfly-shaped diamond studs, and silver flower studs.

While I could be perceived as boring for this, at least I’m not perpetuating the monstrosities that fast-fashion giant Shein creates.

First and foremost, why? The creators of this collection of eyesores must be insane. Half of the earrings look like something kindergarteners might make if they were given a tub of assorted toys worth about one cent each. Or, better yet, a kid given a Barbie and decided to rip its head off. That’s what Shein is basically selling.

I can’t fathom why anyone would want to wear what looks like a product of their destructive childhood hanging from their ears. 

Not to mention, there is no way that can be comfortable. They’re probably heavy and itchy from whatever form of plastic that the doll head’s hair is made out of. The design of the earrings provides no space between where the needle goes through an ear and the top of the hair. I can barely stand the feeling of my hair on my ears; how would I be able to deal with a doll’s hair?

As someone who was seriously freaked out by the baby doll head flower pots in the middle school library, if I saw someone wearing doll head earrings or I received them as a gift, I would run away. 

As for some more earrings that a child with free access to ridiculous toys would make, I present the roast duck earrings. Plastic renditions of cooked poultry hanging from someone’s ears—how delightful. 

Looking at these ugly things that remind me of what likely happened when my pet ducks disappeared from our yard, I would expect them to be light and hollow. Yet, according to the reviews, they’re heavy and pull down on the wearer’s earlobes. Many reviews also mention wearing them for Thanksgiving. While that makes more sense than everyday wear, I don’t know why someone would want to be uncomfortable on a day where eating one’s body weight in stuffing is acceptable, but it also doesn’t make sense to only wear it one day out of the whole year. Personally, I like to be as comfortable as possible, from my top to my jewelry. 

Shein is scaring me with their earring options. While looking at the horrendous plastic toys that some choose to hang from their ears, I found not only upside-down tulip earrings that hit the shoulders, but also pop-it earrings. I’m growing more concerned for these jewelry creators by the hour.

Most of Shein’s earrings I see are utterly disgusting, but there are some that I could see myself switching up my signature earrings for on some days.

The Rhinestone Flower Design Drop Earrings are absolutely gorgeous. I am a huge lover of flowery and shiny earrings—especially when they’re combined. The small bee touch makes me love these earrings even more.

The more elegant and simple earrings from Shein such as these are what I would prefer to wear.

The earrings I enjoy look like ones I could buy on Etsy or another jewelry website or store for a higher price. Honestly, I would probably be more likely to buy the higher-priced ones. I am extremely wary of putting metal in my ears that’s only sold for one dollar on a website that isn’t known for the best of quality. 

In the end, yes, Shein has some cute earrings, but many resemble what the stereotypical quirky best friend on a Disney Channel show would wear as I cringed through the screen.