The aroma of chlorine is in my hair, a sun-kissed tan on my face, a song playing in the background, and the wind breezing my face brings me back to the feeling of pure glee.

The box of old photos from my distant childhood floods my memory with all the stories, occurrences, and happenings that became a reality a few years back. 

The colors looked much brighter and more vibrant. They almost looked like the saturation was turned up if there was an editing feature to those photos. Lines were bolder and more detail all over encompassed me into my element. 

The photographs of myself in cute Halloween costumes and pajamas look so candid. I look so much happier. I mean, playing with ABC blocks sounds better than finding the slope of a line to me. Being outside playing with leaves and making snow angels seemed more fun then than it is now. Once school concludes, my afternoons and evenings are filled with monotonous activities, such as watching Netflix and reading in my bed. 

Bike rides to the park were more of an outgoing, fun activity for me to take part in. Now it is just a tiring activity I succumb to in the summer when I have nothing else to do. 

Every little detail was much flatter but in a good way. Things were much simpler and easy to manage, my friendships were somehow easier to withhold, and life had a more positive aspect to it that I don’t have as much anymore.

Growing up, for me, it seems like someone is just controlling my every move above me. It’s almost like there is an observer predicting, yet knowing every other move of mine.

The endless void keeps sucking my life away into the future with no standby or warning. The void is like my own and a personal gigantic vacuum absorbing all of the dust molecules. Why am I now the only one this is happening to? It is happening to everyone and happening too fast for anyone to realize and see. What is the point of life if we can’t stay young forever?

The evolution of myself over time keeps becoming more rampant and running faster with increased haste. It will not stop, and when I shout, “Slow down!” it chooses to ignore me. Life is crazy. It has many ups and downs and highs and lows. In comparison to a boisterous rollercoaster, that is just how life is. 

But I am still working through the ebb and flow of it all.