I remember sitting on an open windowsill, feeling like I was above everyone else. The rain was drizzling outside, but I had the window flung open, not caring that sometimes a lone, cold drop would land on my face. It reflected the way I felt, and I found comfort in that moment.
No one else was around to complain about the chill that was being blown in. No one inside at least, as everyone was down below. Outside, people were going about their lives as though nothing was happening. As though a bit of rain couldn’t alter their path to success. As though they didn’t care.
I remember wishing it was like that everywhere. Maybe if everyone else realized that a bit of rain isn’t anything to be scared of, they would be just as content as the people strolling about below me. They wouldn’t fear getting wet. They would embrace it.
I fear the rain. I fear the issues that evolve from it. I fear the thunder that cracks open the sky and somehow manages to crack open my head as well. I fear that the rain will overtake me, and one day, I won’t be able to escape it. One day, it will rise into a flood, and there will be no higher ground for me to escape to.
Staring out that window, sitting on that sill, I wished to be down below with everyone else. I yearned for that life of freedom and that feeling of being carefree. I yearned for the day that the rain would no longer affect me.
I sat there for hours, just staring. Thinking. Wishing. I hoped that one day, I would be able to sit there whenever I wanted. One day, my life would consist of sitting to watch the rain from above and dancing in it; there would no longer be any fear holding me back. I dreamed that one day, I would be able to handle the fear of the rain, and I would still go dance in it even though I was scared.
Looking down from above, I saw my future shining back at me. I saw the hopes and dreams I longed for. I saw everything I ever wanted, and I saw it all in that split second the rain landed on my face.
And I realized I wasn’t scared anymore.
I wasn’t scared to go down and dance. I wasn’t scared to follow my path to wherever it took me. I wasn’t concerned about getting wet. Sitting on that windowsill, watching the world move on, I realized that my future doesn’t need to be full of rain. But if it is, I can just go out and dance in it.
