Everything changes senior year, don’t count down to the end

I knew that things were going to change, that’s what everyone tells you is going to happen during senior year.

I went into this year with open arms, and I am really glad I did because my life has changed for the better. And although it has taken me so long to accept the fact that not everything works out, I have come to realize that everything happens for a reason. I have also learned to not regret any of the decisions that I make because they all add up and any of the bad decisions are good learning tools. The only thing that I do regret about this year, and all throughout high school, is counting down to everything, not living in the moment, and not trying to make every day memorable.

Senior year, everything has seemed like a countdown. Counting down to senior retreat, winter break, wrestling season, spring break, candlelight, and graduation are just a few of the big ones for myself. But there are many other ones that will come after graduating like starting college, turning 18, and beginning the rest of my life. I like counting down and having things to be excited for, but I have realized this year that I just get through the other days doing the same routine, thinking about the same things because it makes the days until the “big day” go faster and I feel like I miss out.

Although I do feel as though I have missed out on some of the things I could have done, looking back to the beginning of the year so many other things have happened that I am grateful for. Most importantly, I have made so many new friends this year and also gotten closer with some of the ones that previously drifted away. There are no words to express how much I love everyone in my life right now, and although sometimes things happen and the world gets messy, I know that I have some of the best supporters and the most selfless people surrounding me. I am counting down until the day until we graduate because it’s what I have been working for the last twelve years. And although I am leaving some of the people I am close with behind because they aren’t graduating, I hope that nothing changes and we stay close. And as for the people I am graduating with, I know we will be close.

I know that we will be apart, but the people that I have become friends with this year and especially with this last semester will always be by my side. I am not counting down the days until we go to separate schools, or out on our own but I am looking forward to the next chapter. I am looking forward to experience life and being able to share stories. And I am looking forward to being able to come home to people that I miss, and coming back to the people that I left.