“Big Girls Don’t Cry”

-Fergie

The soundtrack that accompanies my long hours at work has a couple of weird songs, a couple of oldies, a couple of serious jams, and a couple of songs that simply make me ask, “Why?” But after only a few weeks, the music faded into the background, drowned out by a sea of customers.

Until a few nights ago when there was a moment of silence between phone calls and questions, and I heard one line. “…big girls don’t cry.”

I’m a big girl. I cry.

In fact, I cry way more now than I did as a little girl. And for entirely different reasons, too. As a child, tears were the product of a tumble down the stairs (or out of a tree), or a fall while running around with the dog. Physical pain. Now, though, tears don’t stream down my face when I stub a toe but when I hear a nasty rumor. My body is wracked with sobs not because I hit my head, but because someone hit my heart.

And sometimes the tears come for no reason at all. They’re just a release. A way to let out every ounce of pent-up hurt and anger and pain and frustration. But that doesn’t make them pointless. Without those moments of teary release, I’d likely be a patient at an institution.

A few weeks ago, I made a comment to one of my freshman friends that kids here cry a lot in high school. She may not have believed me at first, but I wasn’t surprised when she came to me about a week ago and said, “I get it now.” With the pressures of maturity comes the release of tears.

I only heard that one line, “…big girls don’t cry,” before the phone started up again. But that line really stuck with me.

When I first heard it, I viewed it in a very negative light. Everyone should feel the right to every single one of their emotions. But then I listened to the song. I found that I identified with it in a whole other way. In context, the line isn’t necessarily a negative one. It isn’t saying girls shouldn’t be emotional; it’s the singer’s personal need to be strong, to move on, and to get past the tears. However, I still stand by my firm belief in the cleansing power of tears.

“Big Girls Don’t Cry”

-Fergie