I hate time


I wish that I could buy more time from a store—there is no price that I wouldn’t pay. I don’t hate many things, but time is something that I cannot forgive.

When there is ten minutes left before I have to hand in a test, I hate it. When I only get five hours of sleep, I hate it.

Every second of every day feels rushed to me; it is frustrating. I don’t feel like I’m running out of time, I feel something worse: I feel like I am running a race against time.

In this race, it is not as easy as going from start to finish. There are obstacles, and there are opportunities. 

Neither obstacles or opportunities are good things when you are racing time. Both will slow you down from reaching your goals.

But, both are needed in life. If I never maneuver around obstacles, how will I ever learn from my mistakes?  If I never have opportunities, then how will I ever stay motivated to keep running?

I wish that I could buy more time from a store—there is no price that I wouldn’t pay.

What is the correct way to advance through this race?

With every moment, time forces you to make decisions. How should you spend that moment? How will you feel in that moment? These are the questions that I have difficulty answering on a daily basis.

With so many ways to spend each second, it can be a challenge to spend each one the way that would make me as content as possible. 

As a second passes by, I make a choice—whether it be a choice to do something, a choice to feel some type of way, or a choice to let the second pass without letting anything happen at all. 

Then, I think about how I spent each second.

 I might think about it directly afterward, or I might think about it days, months, or even years later.

And I wonder if I made the right choice.

One day, time will cross the finish line, and my run will be over. I will no longer have any choices to make. Will I be content?