The emotional, introvertive lifestyle I live as a Cancer

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I use to love to take those Buzzfeed quizzes when I was about six or seven.

The ones that would tell you what Disney Channel stars you most resembled or what animal was your spirit animal. I, every time, without fail, was a dolphin, and I still to this day like to think of myself as one.

I fell in love with the fact that while I might not know who I am, these quizzes always knew, and they could spit out the information I didn’t think I knew about myself in exchange for three minutes of my time—which seemed like a steal.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve moved away from childish quizzes and closer to Astrology and zodiac signs to explain things about my self that I didn’t know.

It brings me a significant amount of peace to know I’m the way that I am for a reason and not that the entirety of my personality is a mystery.

As a Cancer, a quick google search would describe me as emotional, loyal, and an individual with deep parenting skills (even though I’ve killed my fair share of fish as a child).

As I’ve grown and matured, having the crab mascot for my sign has come to make more sense.

The salty tears that are a frequent visitor to my freckled cheeks mimic the same environment the crab inhabits. 

I also have introvertive tendencies that can only be described as “hermit behavior.” I hole myself up in my room for hours at a time so as to give my brain a fair chance at processing every detail I picked up on during the day.

If I don’t, the treading of water that I’ve been doing since middle school comes to a stop, and I get swept away with the current.

In other retrospects, I’m jealous of the crab with its armor to protect himself. 

I fell in love with the fact that while I might not know who I am, these quizzes always knew.”

For I’m sure with an extra level of protection, she doesn’t dissect every minute of her day before laying her head to rest and nit-picking what she could have fixed and done better.    

Her shell protects her from the cruel nature of the world, a necessity I lack.

I allow the world to rest upon my shoulders whenever it needs to without a second thought. With my emotional tendencies, it’s no surprise that I do. 

But I eventually need to learn that I need to do what’s good for me, even if it isn’t what that said crab would do.